What does your dis-ease feed off?
What are the ruminating thoughts and stuck feelings made out of?
What might be the antidote?
I find these are very useful questions when considering what is causing someone’s depression or anxiety.
Try to remember, that our feelings are trying to communicate something to us, and can be seen as clues in a puzzle.
Tools and techniques to help open, refocus and change the quality of our thoughts and beliefs can be very powerful and effective in improving how we feel and behave.
However when something historic or buried in the unconscious remains outside of awareness and unresolved, there may be a stuck-ness or a default feeling of anxiety or anger perhaps. Such as around an unprocessed trauma or unresolved issue for example.
This can even be something we might dismiss or judge as ‘not that bad’ what we forget is if it happened to us as a child or is triggering something from childhood then the feelings will have the same power as they had at that time. And if we remember that as an innocent child without a stock pile of useful life experience to help cope with grievances and eventualities it’s not unreasonable that they can feel very strong reactions to things adults might dismiss as insignificant.
Techniques that empower us in the present to address what we need to think about and focus on right now can help us to rationally dispel the residual negative feelings, which often lead to symptoms such as depression, anxiety and withdrawn behaviour; if left unaddressed.
We tend to try to do the opposite of what we need to when things feel uncomfortable.
So with that in mind a combination of releasing the unprocessed grief can help us to understand where the feeling originate and belong. As well as help us to recognise where they don’t belong in our current life.
With many of the people I see a combination of therapeutic relational depth and trust, awareness and new understanding, helps them to get their relational, emotional and creative needs met is part of the solution to a happier more fulfilling life.
People are often surprised and even excited to realise just how much they can take control of how they feel, by challenging their default position to put things off, or avoid challenges they might actually enjoy if they overcame their fear of stepping out of their comfort zone.
Given that we are born relational communicative creatures that have incredible tools like hands to give us the ability to engage with complex fine detailed activities like designing and minds that can hold, consider and debate complex concepts, hearts that can feel infinite depth of being, so it really isn’t that far fetched that we are highly likely to feel depressed or anxious if we don’t use the gifts we are born with.
Some people might say ” oh I’m not talented or clever” I’d like to respectfully challenge & dispel that ‘belief’ .
It’s much harder to use our skills when we have not used them for sometime. ‘use it or lose it, right ?’
It may also be that at some point a teacher or some other uninformed parent type caregiver told you how you weren’t much good at art or maths, for example.
Is it any surprise you believed them and went on to stop trying to do that thing ?
Why wouldn’t you trust and believe them ?
These messages are incredibly damaging to young innocent impressionable minds.
But the good news is there is a way to get good at and enjoy almost anything you desire, you just need to find the formula.
Everything seems impossible when you don’t understand, how it is done well with practice.
A master ninja once said “to get close to mastery we must practice ten thousand times”.
So perhaps at least one thousand repetitions or attempts is not too unreasonable then ?
This applies to anything worth doing and anything worth doing will have a degree of difficulty and complexity to be learned.